Stressed out? Give yourself the gift of calm

I’m not sure where this year has gone – is it just me or has it gone by amazingly fast? Already we’re in the countdown to Christmas, and everything seems that much faster and more crowded – we’re all in a rush and driving faster, and the queues in the shops are growing.

There’s no doubt that Christmas adds a lot to our usual stress – on top of having to cope with children, jobs, grocery shopping, keeping various appointments etc, we also have to fit in present buying and juggling the added expense. Often too, Christmas is a time when family we may not have seen for a while come to stay – for some that may be a great thing; for others, that may mean lots of tension and even conflict.

For various reasons, last week wasn’t the easiest of weeks. And being prone to anxiety myself, I have to keep on top of my stress or I end up very anxious too. At one point, I could feel the familiar constricted feeling in my chest, where I can’t quite catch my breath; my heart going faster than usual; my stomach sore and my head feeling irritable.

At times like these, it’s very tempting to just give into it, let it escalate and work myself into a state. But I’ve learned the hard way that this really isn’t good for me, my heart or my stomach. So I managed to ask myself, ”is this helping me right now – ie getting so stressed – or is it hurting me?” Definitely the latter.

So I forced myself – forced being the operative word, because often we have to be firm with ourselves – to do the first tip on the list below until I felt calmer and more in control again.

If stress over Christmas starts getting to you, there are lots of options for managing it better – things that needn’t take up a lot of time. These are the ’emergency’ interventions I like, but managing stress is all about learning what works for you – I’ll suggest other options in future posts.

Have you heard of the ALEXANDER LIE-DOWN TECHNIQUE? If you Google it, you’ll get specific instructions. But essentially, you lie down on the floor, placing a few books for a pillow behind your head.
You raise your knees so your feet are firmly on the floor, legs comfortably apart, hands resting on your stomach. Then you breathe gently into your stomach for a maximum of 20 minutes (any longer and you’ll want to sleep). Set a timer and put on some soothing classical/meditation music if you can. Ten minutes is fine, but to get the most out of it, 20 minutes is optimum.
As you lie there, the idea is just to focus on your breathing. Any time that thoughts creep in, as they inevitably will, just tell yourself ‘nothing to do right now except lie here’. Be sure that when you sit up, you do so slowly. And then just appreciate how good you feel, how calm.
For real QUICK-FIXES when you don’t have a lot of time but need to get rid of some excess adrenaline and feel just generally brighter and happier, do 10 jumping jacks; run up a flight of stairs a couple of times; or march on the spot for 30 seconds – try to synchronise which arm you raise with which leg you raise.

This next one is a favourite VISUALISATION technique, great for calming stress and anxiety: close your eyes and visualise 10 candles in a row. Inhale gently and deeply then as you exhale (mouth open) imagine blowing out each one, one at a time, until they’re all out.

MUSCLE TENSING: This is great for relaxing your body and consequently your mind. You can do this while standing, sitting or lying down.
Start with your feet, tense them as tightly as you can for about 8 seconds then release. Say ‘tense, tense, tense..’ to yourself as you tense and then ‘release’ or ‘let go’ as you relax and breathe out.
Move on to your calves, your thighs, buttocks, stomach, chest (put your hands together in front of you, as though praying, and push them together to activate your chest muscles), biceps, hands, shoulders (hunch them as high as you can as though to touch your ears), then finally crunch up your entire face… and release. If you’re short of time, do both arms/legs/hands together, but preferably do each muscle tensing one arm/leg/hand at a time.

Gayle