Internal Family Systems therapy

IFS IS A model of psychotherapy developed by Richard Schwartz almost 40 years ago. Its central tenet is that none of us is a singular ‘I’; rather
we are all multiple – ie, complex systems of interacting ‘parts’ or subpersonalities. It’s something we actually all know – how often do you hear yourself saying something like: ‘A part of me wants to lie on the couch all day; but another part of me thinks I really should go to work.’ We instinctively know we have ‘parts’, different voices inside us with often conflicting beliefs or ways of behaving.

Our parts can be divided into two main categories: – ‘exiles’, who are in pain; and ‘protectors’, who try to protect us from feeling that pain. Exiles are the parts of us who hold the distressing feelings and beliefs taken on in response to distressing events in childhood.

They’re called exiles because in order for us to continue to function and develop into adulthood, these parts are exiled into a corner of our psyche in a bid to keep their distress out of our awareness.

The protectors are the parts that try to keep the exiles banished, and there are two main types: proactive managers and the highly reactive firefighters.

Generally the reason why we struggle is that our parts largely operate outside of our awareness. We just tend to think that sometimes we’re feeling anxious, other times, calm; other times angry without really understanding why. When in fact, it’s our parts that are being frequently activated. One will be in the driving seat for a while and then we enter a different situation and another part takes over. We tend to see this as shifts in mood but each change signals that a new subpersonality has taken over, eg, an anxious child part, a highly critical or controlling manager or a very reactive, angry firefighter. But underlying all the parts is a core Self that is compassionate, wise and courageous; and which, crucially, has the capacity to heal the wounded parts of us – that’s the transformational promise of IFS.

In an IFS session, you learn how to talk to these different parts of yourself from your Self so you can heal the wounded parts of yourself and resolve any inner conflicts.    I would typically first explore with you what parts you might already be aware of, eg an anxious part, a sad part, an inner critic.   Then I'd ask you to close your eyes, just so you can be free of any other distractions, and focus inside on your internal world.     I guide you to ask your chosen target part certain questions to get to know it, and ultimately to heal it.     A lot of people doubt they will be able to do this, that they will be able to hear or see anything inside, but it's surprising how easy it is for most people.     Essentially what you are doing when talking to your parts is accessing a different part of your brain.     This frequently means that parts will tell you about memories they hold which you had completely forgotten about.    It's part of what makes the work so fascinating and enriching - for client and therapist alike.